‘The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.’
The main goal of Counselling Therapy is to release the client from any emotional distress or limiting beliefs. Person centred counselling arms the client with the opportunity to become more self-aware, and more in control of creating the sort of positive changes they want to see in their life.
In order to have an effective therapeutic relationship, Carl Rodgers who developed Person Centred Counselling, believed that three ‘core conditions’ needed to be in place as a basis for an effective change environment.
The ‘core conditions’ are basically attitudes that the counsellor displays that show acceptance of the client, valuing them as a human being of worth.
The first condition is called Empathy, sometimes referred to as a frame of reference, its like walking in someone else’s shoes.
The second condition is known as Congruence this means the counsellor is genuine and real, this condition is important as it allows the client to build a trusting relationship with the counsellor.
The third and final condition is known as Unconditional Positive Regard. For a client it can be a relief to talk about their problems without the fear of being criticised or judged.
So what does this mean for you and me? Well, it means that I will try to put myself in your situation (walk in your shoes) to understand you more clearly, be totally myself with you and lastly accept you unconditionally and not judge you. These three conditions are the basis for an open and honest dialogue that is the prerequisite for change.